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Things I can operate perfectly until I’m at someone else’s house:
If you won’t sing “Living’ on a Prayer” or “Mr. Brightside” at the top of your lungs with me, I do not need you in my life.
[singing alone in shower] my name is marius pontmercy [raises voice seventeen octaves] and mine’s cosette
the best headline i’ve ever read.
yes. apparently a kid was screaming in line behind him about wanting pie, so he bought every single one. 23 pies. then slowly ate them as he stared at the kid and kid’s mom.
This is amazing
OKAY so my mom found this article (or one about the same event) on Facebook. Basically what happened was, this guy went into BK with a headache, and while he was in line this kid and his mother enter the restaurant. The kid begins throwing a fit, screaming (I quote) “I want a fucking pie!” This is a child, mind you. His mother, on the phone, ignores the kid. The man’s headache got worse because of this screaming kid and he asked the woman if she could control her child. She told him to stop telling him how to raise her kid and went back to talking on the phone. So the guy orders his burger and all the pies they had- 23. He proceeded to the exit, only to hear the woman yell, “What do you mean, you don’t have any pies?” The cashier helplessly points out the man who bought all the pies. Our hero, to rub salt in the wound, slowly starts eating a pie before leaving.
The best advice I’ve ever received is, ‘No one else knows what they’re doing either.
Jimmy reads some #AwkwardBreakup tweets.
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